Graduating 5th Grade

(This should have been posted in late June. Let's just pretend that it was. :) )


My oldest son is graduating from fifth grade tomorrow.

When I was in fifth grade it was scary to think of going to a new school and being completely unfamiliar with both the territory and the demands of middle school. That's when I really started to goof off in some subjects and my friends were all that mattered. Well, that and not being taller than the teachers (which I did not fend off. I was taller than most by the eighth grade). My awkwardness and shyness made me look like a snob and I gave off a grumpy vibe a lot.

I must have had a lot of fun in middle school too though. I can remember goofing off with my friends and the silly things we did. There were a lot of laughs back then. It was a time of walking the line between ignorant childhood bliss and crushing adolescent angst. And speaking of crushes, I don't know if I even told my best friend who it was that I was gaga over. I didn't know how to talk about it and I always felt like I was an oddball and should keep it to myself. I do remember that I had a diary and I wrote it in there, behind a sticker. I'm pretty sure I chucked that diary in the garbage years ago but it would be fun to look at it now. Okay, maybe "fun" is not the right word because it might actually be very painful. Yes, the more I think of it, last time I read it I was embarrassed for myself. Embarrassed OF myself. Hence, I chucked it into the "circular file."

When I look back at that time in my life, the first thing that usually comes to mind is "that was a terrible time". But really it wasn't so bad. I think I need to adjust my attitude, for my own sake as well as my son's. After all, I want him to have a very successful, goofy, silly, funny, crush-filled experience in middle school. And I hope he still opens up to me during our late-night, bedtime-stalling chats. I'd like to hear who he has a crush on.

But it may be awhile. He currently thinks "girls are gross and mean". It's probably better that he doesn't have a diary or journal to remind him he once thought that. But I can remind him. :)