It's Autism Awareness Month so I've decided to do a quick post to announce that and share a link. I've been putting a few status updates on facebook to try to educate my friends and family, and to put myself out there a little. It's hard because at the same time I am also putting my son out there. He's not quite ready to tell his classmates but we're considering it because we believe educating others leads to understanding and compassion from others.
Here's a linky to an article on parenting.com that gives a bunch more links, if you are interested:
http://www.parenting.com/blogs/show-and-tell/kate-parentingcom/world-autism-awareness-day?cid=fb
Have a great day!
A mediocre mom who has visions of grandeur.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Virtual Coffee III
I think it's time for some virtual coffee.
First I will tell you that I can only think of one thing... Tomorrow! As I sit drinking my decaf today, I think of how I will need regular the next!
Tomorrow my oldest is taking a class trip to Boston. I am SO JEALOUS. It was always one of my favorite field trips as a kid and I've been dying to go back with my family. I would have gone on the class trip had it not been on THIS day. This crazy day in 2011. Why is it crazy, you ask? Lemme tell you.
First, he has to be to school at 6:00 a.m. Not only do I have to get up and dressed, but I have to get my daughter up to take her with us since my husband will already be gone to work. Ugh.
The craziness continues as my second son will then need to get ready for school and his role in the 5th grade Musical, Treasure Island! They have a school assembly for it at 9:00 so he'll need to be prepped and ready with stage makeup before he gets on the bus. I never thought I'd have to worry about "stage makeup" for either of my boys! How fun! He's got a good role and we are already so proud of him. When I asked him if he's nervous he said he's not. He's just excited. Maybe this, along with memorizing his lines and most of the others', is one of his strengths due to his Asperger's. :) I can't wait to see him at the evening performance! I know he will do great. I'm not letting the scared, oh-no-what-if-he-blah-blah-blah thoughts take over. They are there, certainly, but the proud, positive thoughts are holding them at bay.
One other reason tomorrow will be crazy? There's this little thing going on called My Daughter's Second Birthday. Yeah. THAT. I need to bake a cake, wrap gifts, and spoil her all day long. :) Poor me!
So tomorrow is "crazy" but all in a good way. My kids are doing well, we're celebrating, we're healthy and we're happy! Yay!
Oh, did you want to talk too? Sorry, I've got to go. Maybe next week!
;)
.
First I will tell you that I can only think of one thing... Tomorrow! As I sit drinking my decaf today, I think of how I will need regular the next!
Tomorrow my oldest is taking a class trip to Boston. I am SO JEALOUS. It was always one of my favorite field trips as a kid and I've been dying to go back with my family. I would have gone on the class trip had it not been on THIS day. This crazy day in 2011. Why is it crazy, you ask? Lemme tell you.
First, he has to be to school at 6:00 a.m. Not only do I have to get up and dressed, but I have to get my daughter up to take her with us since my husband will already be gone to work. Ugh.
The craziness continues as my second son will then need to get ready for school and his role in the 5th grade Musical, Treasure Island! They have a school assembly for it at 9:00 so he'll need to be prepped and ready with stage makeup before he gets on the bus. I never thought I'd have to worry about "stage makeup" for either of my boys! How fun! He's got a good role and we are already so proud of him. When I asked him if he's nervous he said he's not. He's just excited. Maybe this, along with memorizing his lines and most of the others', is one of his strengths due to his Asperger's. :) I can't wait to see him at the evening performance! I know he will do great. I'm not letting the scared, oh-no-what-if-he-blah-blah-blah thoughts take over. They are there, certainly, but the proud, positive thoughts are holding them at bay.
One other reason tomorrow will be crazy? There's this little thing going on called My Daughter's Second Birthday. Yeah. THAT. I need to bake a cake, wrap gifts, and spoil her all day long. :) Poor me!
So tomorrow is "crazy" but all in a good way. My kids are doing well, we're celebrating, we're healthy and we're happy! Yay!
Oh, did you want to talk too? Sorry, I've got to go. Maybe next week!
;)
.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Perseverate Much?
Tonight at dinner my son just wouldn't let something go. I asked him to stop talking about it. To please wait until I got dinner on everyone's plate before he got into it again. The asking. Nagging. Asking again.
Just. Not. Letting. It. GO.
A minute later he brought it up again. My fuse was short as my youngest was yelling and fussing in her high chair wanting her food, my oldest was loudly talking about something too (why doesn't he have volume control yet?!), and I didn't want to discuss this matter as I'd already said NO five times prior.
That was it, I dropped the (figurative) hammer. I cut him off. I told him to stop. STOP! I told him he couldn't say another word about it right now. I told him we could talk about it while we're eating as a dinner conversation but NOT RIGHT NOW. The poor kid replied, "I'll just say it even if you don't listen" in such a helpless, I-just-need-to-get-it-out-of-my-head kind of way. I felt no better than a crumb but I told him, "No, you can't. Don't say another word."
It feels so bad to make him stop and hold it in. It's one of the hardest things I have been trying to do with him lately. At school they've set clear boundaries and so he has learned not to do it so much there. To the contrary, since my boys were little I have let them interrupt me to prattle on about whatever they felt they needed to say at THAT moment. (It's no wonder they both have had impulse control issues!) I didn't want them to feel devalued. I wanted them to know that Mommy is listening! Mommy cares what you have to say!
I still want to listen but have realized that it's okay to tell my kids, in no uncertain terms, that they have to wait for something. Their needs are not the only ones to be met, special needs or not.
Mid-way through our dinner, he calmly brought the subject up again. I praised him for waiting and told him it was a good time to talk about it. I think the conversation only lasted a minute longer and that was the end of it.
Although he didn't exhibit it tonight, he has made EXCELLENT progress accepting "no" for an answer. He can now politely say, "OK" and walk away. It has been wonderful and a huge step forward. Why he couldn't do that tonight I may never know. But he's learning and growing and so am I.
I'd love to learn other tactics to help my son from perseverating on things. What do you use with your kids (special needs or not)?
.
Just. Not. Letting. It. GO.
A minute later he brought it up again. My fuse was short as my youngest was yelling and fussing in her high chair wanting her food, my oldest was loudly talking about something too (why doesn't he have volume control yet?!), and I didn't want to discuss this matter as I'd already said NO five times prior.
That was it, I dropped the (figurative) hammer. I cut him off. I told him to stop. STOP! I told him he couldn't say another word about it right now. I told him we could talk about it while we're eating as a dinner conversation but NOT RIGHT NOW. The poor kid replied, "I'll just say it even if you don't listen" in such a helpless, I-just-need-to-get-it-out-of-my-head kind of way. I felt no better than a crumb but I told him, "No, you can't. Don't say another word."
It feels so bad to make him stop and hold it in. It's one of the hardest things I have been trying to do with him lately. At school they've set clear boundaries and so he has learned not to do it so much there. To the contrary, since my boys were little I have let them interrupt me to prattle on about whatever they felt they needed to say at THAT moment. (It's no wonder they both have had impulse control issues!) I didn't want them to feel devalued. I wanted them to know that Mommy is listening! Mommy cares what you have to say!
I still want to listen but have realized that it's okay to tell my kids, in no uncertain terms, that they have to wait for something. Their needs are not the only ones to be met, special needs or not.
Mid-way through our dinner, he calmly brought the subject up again. I praised him for waiting and told him it was a good time to talk about it. I think the conversation only lasted a minute longer and that was the end of it.
Although he didn't exhibit it tonight, he has made EXCELLENT progress accepting "no" for an answer. He can now politely say, "OK" and walk away. It has been wonderful and a huge step forward. Why he couldn't do that tonight I may never know. But he's learning and growing and so am I.
I'd love to learn other tactics to help my son from perseverating on things. What do you use with your kids (special needs or not)?
.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Rejected
I've been rejected. By my 22 month-old daughter. It was bound to happen I suppose, but it still stung a little and made me wonder if this is just the way it is going to be. Moms of girls, you are probably laughing at the naivety of that statement. I'm not stupid. I was a girl and subsequently know to torture a mother, after all. I just want to pretend it isn't true, mkay?
Anyway, after working all day and then taking my oldest to a baseball training session, it was nearly 10:00 p.m. and I was looking forward to a quiet house and some time to myself.
Not ten minutes after I get home do I hear Lady Wah-Wah through the monitor starting to fuss and cry. Now normally I just let her go a little bit and she settles down to sleep in a few minutes. We're not talking real crying here, because that is different and I go right up there for that. No this was attention seeking. Daddy attention seeking. And when I went up there to check on things, guess who was sitting in her room? Yup. Daddy. I will henceforth refer to him as "The Sucker". So, I go into her room and The Sucker is sitting in the chair in the dark, pretending that he will just sit there and she'll calm down and go to sleep. Yeah, cuz THAT works. <clears throat> I left for a few minutes and upon my return there the two of them sit, The Sucker and Lady Wah-Wah, relaxing in the rocking chair together. Oh so comfy and... wait a minute... do I see an evil grin on my daughter's face through the darkness?
Of course now I'm thinking, "Great. It will take me at least two days to undo this nonsense!" <sigh> I offer to take Lady Wah-Wah, thinking how I will fix this situation and get her in bed like she should be. I go to reach for her and she's saying, "Mommy. Mommy!" and naturally I think she wants me. And this is the moment. The moment I reach down to pick her up... and she swats her little hands, screaming, "Mommy!! Moooommmmy!!" and some other I-hate-you gibberish, and starts crying. Hard. The REAL kind of crying.
The Sucker tells me to leave and come back in a few minutes. I do. I am hoping to find her asleep on his chest so we can put this whole thing behind us. But no. She starts whining and I know she's going to pitch a fit again if I try to take her. The problem is, Dadd... er, I mean The Sucker isn't feeling well so I need to take over. I tell him it's like a bandage - we have to just do it and yes, she'll cry, but I'll handle it and she'll be fine. He relented and after slowly taking off the bandage by saying goodbye and giving hugs (rip it off, dammit!!), he left the room.
You know she cried, right?
Well you probably also know that I got her to settle down too? And then I got her in her crib, still awake and yet content? And then I left the room while she peacefully fell asleep soon after?
Yup. I'm awesome.
But the questions remain: Will The Sucker ever return to the simple status of Daddy? When will he learn that he has to be firm but he can be loving and gentle at the same time? When will he stop mucking up my efforts to stick to a routine??!
Probably when he accepts that he'll be rejected.
I'm thinking that's when hell freezes over, right?
That's what I thought.
ETA:
I liked my story just the way it was, but I have to... er... correct a bit maybe.... BUT I'M STILL AWESOME!
I talked with my husband (aka The Sucker) on Sunday and he told me a little more about that night than I knew before I posted. Looks like I have to eat crow!
He told me he read to her and then she wanted her crib, so he lay her down at 8:30 and she fell right asleep. (Impressive.) Then at 10:00 she woke up crying. The REAL kind. It turns out she had gas! Oops. Looks like Daddy made the right call that time.
But still, in my defense, he wasn't getting her back to sleep very well and he's still a sucker. Just maybe no longer with the capital "S". :)
.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Love the past
I love this kid. :)
This is "Bean", as his dad calls him, and he's ten years old. He's my middle child and he's a funny, smart, fun-loving person. He's been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome since he was five (and a wild man in the Kindergarten classroom). I knew sooner than that, OF COURSE.
Tonight I rigged up the old camcorder (the kind with smaller tapes, not the full size vhs ones) to the huge flat screen tv. We're looking at the 1990s vs. 2000s and it's a huge discrepancy. But I digress. My husband transferred only a few of the old tapes to DVDs and I hadn't seen anything from these tapes in, like, forever. Or ever. Seriously I'm not even sure that I've watched the footage since I recorded it in 2004. So tonight we enjoyed a look back in time. And guess what?
I have footage of my middle child!! Hip hip hooray!
It's true! I wasn't sure until tonight if I had anything but a blip of our precious boy whilst we ran after our first born, the Drama King. It brought a few tears to my eyes and my throat even clenched. It felt like discovering something awesome in your attic that you never knew existed before.
So we watched our four year-old Bean run around, chatting away, and it was amazing. And it was so HIM. Hearing his little voice and looking at his little face again made me vividly remember how in love with him I have always been. How I couldn't go a day without hugging him (and squishing him and calling him George) and smiling back at his bright, contagious smile. No wonder everyone has always forgiven his bad behaviors and loved him.
Flash forward to the loud, rambunctious brothers NOT keeping quiet during our film festival. Their father and I were constantly shushing them as we stared in wonder at the screen. They were enjoying the home movies, just a bit too intensely. They were LOUD. Loudly laughing and cracking jokes and constantly jibber-jabbering. Which isn't a bad thing, them having fun I mean. I was just so caught up in the moment. As if the magic would soon disappear. As if our babies that had momentarily returned to us on the screen would soon be gone forever, only to live on in our old, forgetful brains.
But that's not true. I have it recorded and so to my past-self I wish to say a heartfelt, "Good job! You've always been a great Mom!" On so many, many levels I say that tonight. We have come so far and have grown so much since those days. Along with my praise I also have to say to myself an enormous, "Thank you."
Thank you.
:)
This is "Bean", as his dad calls him, and he's ten years old. He's my middle child and he's a funny, smart, fun-loving person. He's been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome since he was five (and a wild man in the Kindergarten classroom). I knew sooner than that, OF COURSE.
Tonight I rigged up the old camcorder (the kind with smaller tapes, not the full size vhs ones) to the huge flat screen tv. We're looking at the 1990s vs. 2000s and it's a huge discrepancy. But I digress. My husband transferred only a few of the old tapes to DVDs and I hadn't seen anything from these tapes in, like, forever. Or ever. Seriously I'm not even sure that I've watched the footage since I recorded it in 2004. So tonight we enjoyed a look back in time. And guess what?
I have footage of my middle child!! Hip hip hooray!
It's true! I wasn't sure until tonight if I had anything but a blip of our precious boy whilst we ran after our first born, the Drama King. It brought a few tears to my eyes and my throat even clenched. It felt like discovering something awesome in your attic that you never knew existed before.
So we watched our four year-old Bean run around, chatting away, and it was amazing. And it was so HIM. Hearing his little voice and looking at his little face again made me vividly remember how in love with him I have always been. How I couldn't go a day without hugging him (and squishing him and calling him George) and smiling back at his bright, contagious smile. No wonder everyone has always forgiven his bad behaviors and loved him.
Flash forward to the loud, rambunctious brothers NOT keeping quiet during our film festival. Their father and I were constantly shushing them as we stared in wonder at the screen. They were enjoying the home movies, just a bit too intensely. They were LOUD. Loudly laughing and cracking jokes and constantly jibber-jabbering. Which isn't a bad thing, them having fun I mean. I was just so caught up in the moment. As if the magic would soon disappear. As if our babies that had momentarily returned to us on the screen would soon be gone forever, only to live on in our old, forgetful brains.
But that's not true. I have it recorded and so to my past-self I wish to say a heartfelt, "Good job! You've always been a great Mom!" On so many, many levels I say that tonight. We have come so far and have grown so much since those days. Along with my praise I also have to say to myself an enormous, "Thank you."
Thank you.
:)
Monday, January 3, 2011
First 2011
Happy.
New.
Year.
That's about all I've got right now. That and a bad habit of staying up late and sleeping in. Kids back in school is cramping my style! But I'm glad they're back. ;)
New.
Year.
That's about all I've got right now. That and a bad habit of staying up late and sleeping in. Kids back in school is cramping my style! But I'm glad they're back. ;)
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Disappearing act
Ta-da! How'd you like my sideshow attraction? The blogger who disappears when life gets hard?
Sad thing is I didn't even realize it's been a whole two months since I last wrote, nor did I care.
I just read my last post - well, the one that I was writing on November 7th and didn't publish - and now I can clearly see why I disappeared. I was in the midst of reading Eat, Pray, Love so of course I was analyzing my own life a bit; I had just taken on a new weekend job doing something I've always wanted to do - photography; and the holidays were approaching. Fast. I just had to drop a ball and blogging was it.
The holidays were good to us. The "extra" income really wasn't so extra after all. And we had the lowest budget for the kids in many, many years. That being said, they are happy and so are we. I received a new perfume (it's been years since I bought any) and I got my husband a new coffee mug with his beautiful daughter on it. It outshines the old mugs of the boys, but that's to be expected. She's the princess of the family!
Speaking of the Princess, she totally enjoyed Christmas and the days leading up to it. She probably thinks we'll be having another one in a few days. I've tried to cut back on the Christmas stories and songs at bedtime, but they have become her favorites. With the tree up and holiday shows still playing on the TiVo, the concept that Christmas is only for one day is a hard one to digest! She has really picked up on her words and "Santa" is one of her clearest. :) She makes me so happy and in love with her every single day. We're completely blessed with our little girl.
So what's the outlook for 2011? New visions? New adventures? Continued successes and blessings? Above all else I hope it includes good health for our immediate and extended families.
May you and yours have a wonderful New Year. :) See you around in 2011!
Sad thing is I didn't even realize it's been a whole two months since I last wrote, nor did I care.
I just read my last post - well, the one that I was writing on November 7th and didn't publish - and now I can clearly see why I disappeared. I was in the midst of reading Eat, Pray, Love so of course I was analyzing my own life a bit; I had just taken on a new weekend job doing something I've always wanted to do - photography; and the holidays were approaching. Fast. I just had to drop a ball and blogging was it.
The holidays were good to us. The "extra" income really wasn't so extra after all. And we had the lowest budget for the kids in many, many years. That being said, they are happy and so are we. I received a new perfume (it's been years since I bought any) and I got my husband a new coffee mug with his beautiful daughter on it. It outshines the old mugs of the boys, but that's to be expected. She's the princess of the family!
Speaking of the Princess, she totally enjoyed Christmas and the days leading up to it. She probably thinks we'll be having another one in a few days. I've tried to cut back on the Christmas stories and songs at bedtime, but they have become her favorites. With the tree up and holiday shows still playing on the TiVo, the concept that Christmas is only for one day is a hard one to digest! She has really picked up on her words and "Santa" is one of her clearest. :) She makes me so happy and in love with her every single day. We're completely blessed with our little girl.
So what's the outlook for 2011? New visions? New adventures? Continued successes and blessings? Above all else I hope it includes good health for our immediate and extended families.
May you and yours have a wonderful New Year. :) See you around in 2011!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)